Attitude of Gratitude

So, I have been on "vacation" for a few days. Of course, there was Thanksgiving break, and then I took another week off of school.

Mickie and Bailey went to PA with the grandparents, and a few other Shaws, for hunting season. I am not sure how much hunting they really did, but they got to go to camp, hang out and have fun. Joey is at Disney world with my brother, Joe, his wife, Michelle, and their daughter, Bella. He has been having a great time. He calls me every day for extended conversations. I miss him soooo much. I will be heading to Maryland tomorrow. His flight gets in tomorrow evening, so we won't drive back home until Friday. I cannot wait to get my baby back. I am such a wimp.

In the meantime, Toby and I have had some sweet bonding time. We have gone out to eat at his favorite places, cooked his favorite foods, went to a movie, rented movies, played games together, shopped til we dropped and I even let him ride shot-gun. Now that is some serious only-child spoiling. Just ask him, "it has been the best days of his life". Needless to say, he is not missing his brothers. (PS - My air bags are automatic depending on weight. Safety is key.)

Since today is my last day of vacay, I have spent the entire day decorating the inside of the house. I decorated the dinning room, the kitchen and finished the living room. We decorated the tree as a family before Joey left last week. I have had Christmas music on all day too. It's been quite lovely.

My older boys should be home in a couple of hours. I have dinner done and waiting. It's raining outside and I have candles burning through the house. Hmmmm, all is well in my corner of the world....I am so deeply thankful to a Savior that knows my love language.

One of my favoite memories as a little girl is coming in the front door from the bitter North Dakota cold and smelling dinner cooking. The windows would all be foggy due to the cold outside and the warmth inside. It was such a feeling of love and security. I love that I have that now in my own home. I relish this season of year that really brings us to a point of reflection and thankfulness. Yes, we should be here on our knees daily all year long, but unfortunately that just doesn't happen.

JJ and I were just having a conversation this week asking, "Why does God continue to bless us?" This question usually causes a person to stop and reflect upon what he or she has done to deserve such blessings. I don't think that is what we are suppose to do. Blessings are an extension of His love, which cannot be earned. It is freely given. Wow! So now what?....Now, we take those blessings and we glorify Him, that others will see Him and want to know Him.

Thanksgiving day may be over, but we should still be thankful.

God's Chisel

This video was shown during church service yesterday. To me, it was very powerful and spoke directly to my heart. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I am not junk! You are not junk! We are His masterpiece.

Busy Bee

Gosh, it is early. Like waaaay early. I have been awake since a little before 4 am. I finally got out of bed when JJ's alarm went off at 5. I just couldn't sleep this morning. Which I know I will pay dearly for later.

So much running through my mind. Why does it all have to be so important at 4 am? Why can't I shut it down? I guess the truth is that during the day there are enough distractions that I can avoid thinking about certain things. Worrying....fretting....being an emotional, over achieving control freak. Oops, sorry, I didn't mean to go quite so far. I hope I didn't blow your opinion of me.

We are always so busy. Busy, busy, busy. I was told that would happen as my kids got older, but that didn't prepare me any better. I don't forsee it slowing down anytime soon. So much for "stay-at-home mom".

How do you balance living a life for Christ and still living life? Now I know the Sunday School answer to that question, but I mean the real day in and day out. Staying focused on the true purpose of our life. You know, the GREAT COMMISSION. Go and make disciples. It's so easy to get caught up in our little tunnel vision of life. For me, it's enough just to roll through the day of school work and regular house work. By the time that is over I am whooped. So when I lay my head down at night, I ask myself, did I do anything that matters in eternity? I am sooooo not looking for a pat on the back or an 'atta girl'. I guess I am just feeling a bit convicted to think outside of my four walls.

HOLY HUDDLE - My Pastor used this term in service a couple of weeks ago. It has stuck with me. When a team (we'll say football, just cuz) is in a huddle, their bodies are facing each other and their heads are down together in a circle. The focus is within that circle. I feel like that is how I am now. My focus is within my holy huddle. Where is the balance?

Man, it is way too early for such deep thinking. So far this morning I have solved world peace, world hunger, the trillion dollar deficit and health care.....well, at least in my own head I have. Now, if I can just get the laundry done.

Just rambling....

It's still early so I have a few minutes to ramble. Now if I just keep it to a few minutes and not lose track of time, that would be great.

I was reading some older posts from the summer before my little blog hiatis, and I wanted to add a few updates.

Bailey has changed dance schools. There was a local school that saw him dance last May at an outside even, Meet in the Street, and became very interested in his talent. They called us, and after a few months of me dragging my feet, offered to scholarship Bailey to come and dance at their studio. This has been such a huge blessing to us and Bailey. We are very grateful for their generousity and their belief in Bailey's talent. Of couse, JJ and I love to watch Bailey dance and are blown away at his "moves", so it has been incredibily awesome to have someone else affirm that talent.

It hasn't been an easy transition for Bailey. He has many friends at the other studio and it had become like a second home. Things are progressing well now. The scholarship has opened up other areas of dance for Bailey that we just couldn't take on before. This dance studio concentrates a lot on technique and that has been more challenging for Bailey. He is a phenominal "hip hop" dancer, but some of the other stuff doesn't come as easily. This opportunity will allow him to have a strong foundation, and try other avenues of dance. Next on the list is tap. He has asked for so long to do tap....luckily that falls in on the scholarship too. Now I just have to get those shoes.

Mickie has been playing football this fall. It has been years since Mickie has played football in a league. The boy is head over heels in love with playing football. He has always loved football from the time he came out of the womb. We didn't really encourage him playing, because of his size. He's a little guy. Even for as talented of a baseball player that he is, he has needed some time to grow to catch up to the stregnth of the other guys his age. Thankfully that has all fallen into place.

Man, I gotta tell ya, this boy can play football. He has been amazing. I am not sure which I love more watching Mickie play or watching JJ watch Mickie play. JJ is not one to compliment Mickie very much. He's the "Simon" judge when it comes to this stuff. But I must say, I have heard more compliments out of JJ during this football season than all the years of baseball combined.

While all the sports are good and I love watching the boys do their "thang", my favorite update would be that Mickie and I are back on track. I felt a big wall between us there for quite sometime. I guess it is a growing pain between mothers and sons. (I am told it is much harder with girls. Not sure I could handle that, which God obviously knew already.) He and I have turned a corner. I am slowly releasing him and he is maturing. I am thankful for his relationship with the Lord, which I know keeps him grounded and accountable far more than JJ and I could ever do.

Once again, I over did my stay here in blog world. My boys are up.

******Out of the mouth of babes.*******

Toby just said to me. "Mom, I know heaven is the best place and I won't want to leave God, but do you think God would let me leave just enough to go down to hell and try to talk to Satan about not giving the world sin? Maybe he'll come back to heaven and be with God."

Yep that's my Tobes. His face was one of true sincerety. He feels sorry that this angel of darkness made such a terrible choice to defy God.

I have no idea what the Lord has planned for my children. But above all things, sports, money, careers, possessions, I pray that they follow hard after HIM.

Long Time No Chat

It's been awhile since I have sat down to add anything to this long neglected blog.

Here we are back to school. It's been going very well, until this week. We have maintained a strong strict schedule.....until this week. Now I can't seem to really get my butt in gear. And that tends to put me in a really-----really bad mood. Which then makes it hard for me to focus on the schooling that needs to get done. It's an ugly cycle.

So, I thought I would blog for therapy. I'll let you know if it helps.

My brother Neil got married this weekend. That's why I am so off my schedule. It started last week, when I cut a few things out of our normal daily routine. Now I feel like I have to catch up. Which is insane, because I am my own calendar keeper. The wedding went wonderfully and it was a good time had by all. I hate coming back to the reality of real life. I love the excitement of preparations and all the fun that leads up to the big day. But the buzz kill is when it's all over and everyone goes home.

My dad and step mom, Sandra, and sister Lucy where here again. It was a first time visit for my brother Marcus and my ex-step mom Gay. (Gay is Neil, Marcus and Lucy's mom...try to keep up with me here.) It was a wonderful time to have them all here, but entirely too short of a visit.

Anyway, Neil got married. He married a girl that he met at my house the very first time he came here to visit. Pretty cool, huh? I never saw that one coming. I cried a lot at Neil's wedding. I just felt so attached to him. I told him, "I'm not ready for you to get married." He had become such a regular fixture at my home every weekend. JJ and I would often say he was like our oldest boy. Not in a demeaning way, we just grew to love him and invest in him and try to help guide him. He has surely been a gift to our family.

I was amazed the first time Neil came to my house. I could not believe that God had brought him into my life after all those years of separation. I was humbled and broken to be given the opportunity to pray with him to become a Christian this past December. I haven't yet found the words to explain how I felt watching him get married here at our church, with our church family, by our wonderful God loving pastors. Never! Never did I even begin to imagine that this is what God had planned.

Now, will I finally learn to be still and wait? Will I learn to be quiet and have peace as I wait on the One who knows? So far............not so much!

Thanks for the therapy!

Here are a few pictures of our weekend.

Not goodbye....see ya later!

I have been trying hard to keep up with some sort of regular blog posts; however, I just can't seem to make it work. ********************************************************** We are heading into another busy school year. Mickie is starting the 10th grade, Bailey is 7th grade, Toby 4th grade and Joey 1st grade. Each one carries it's own set of difficulties. Obviously Mickie is the most challenging with his courses of study and work load. Bailey is at a point that I really need to stress note taking and writing work. Toby is my one who needs that extra sensory stuff in all studies. And Joey is still working on the foundational things. For him everything is a new concept. That can be a slow process. ********************************************************** I am teaching a different level in our coop this year. I am feeling more confident about it now that I have met with my co-teacher. We have been able to put together a "plan" for our first unit. I always feel better when I have a plan. ********************************************************** My goal is spend more time focused on what really needs to get done and less time on the things that I feel pull me away from that. Hence, the blog. It's not just my blog, it's reading other people's blogs. I can easily lose track of time in the cyber blog world. I am going to suspend my blog. I hope I don't have to delete it all together, because I may want to take it up again some day....but who knows. ********************************************************** For those of you wondering about our adoption status...................... Our license for adoption will expire this Septmeber. We don't forsee anything happening before then. We will continue to be the Shaw 6 pak! ********************************************************** So it's time to put words into action. There is laundry to be done and school work to begin! ********************************************************** Take care!

Got all my ducks in a row....

I wanted to express a few thoughts I had while my children were away for 14 days! ********************************************************** The EMPTY NEST is over rated! Absolutely, JJ and I had an awesome time alone. We haven't had much alone time during our 15 years of marriage....probably had something to do with the fact that Mickie was already 6 months old when we got married. However, I missed those boys.... A LOT. JJ and I did all the things that we dreamed we would do.... we stayed up late, we slept in... we took naps. We did whatever we wanted to do with out even thinking about the kids. But after the first week, I was like "okay, done, bring my boys back." Don't get me wrong I managed to survive and I really only had a few moments of weakness, but I also knew that the boys would be coming home, eventually. It wasn't like they were off living their lives all grown up. ********************************************************** It is interesting to see how much we really do live for our children. I am not talking about cooking dinner or washing laundry. I mean how much of our fun, entertainment and laughter are wrapped up in our kids....us....as a family. It's our identity, in a healthy, "man, I adore this family" kind of way. Each one of our kids brings a unique gift to this family we lovingly refer to as the Shaw6pak. ********************************************************** When we were on that last stretch of road before getting the boys, I had butterflies in my stomach. I couldn't wait to see them, touch them, hear them...... I could see the little ones waving their arms to show me that they were there, as though I would actually miss them or something....my spidey sense was on full strength. Three of them quickly embraced me all at once and I could feel the anxiety, that I didn't even realize had been there, melt away. Mickie, of course, went to his dad first. But when I got my turn it was well worth the wait. ********************************************************** I slept better that night than I had in two weeks. As JJ put it, "Momma's ducklings are home, just where they belong." ********************************************************** I was very excited for the kids to leave. I counted down the days right along with them....that does not make me a bad mom. I knew JJ and I would have a great time. But I didn't expect the very special reminder of what a blessing it is to be 'Momma' to four incredible boys. ********************************************************** Thank you, God.